


They say it's wonderful

by pillar_of_salt



Series: Hunger Games Prompts [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 10:54:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pillar_of_salt/pseuds/pillar_of_salt
Summary: "Hello, loverboys," Cato sneered.





	They say it's wonderful

**Author's Note:**

> Bits and pieces from the million Hunger Games fic ideas I'm trying to write; might develop some of these further.

There were a lot of worst parts about being in the Hunger Games. In Peeta’s opinion, Effie Trinket’s lecture on the joys and dangers of anal sex ranked somewhere above losing one of his legs but below getting stung by tracker jackers and hallucinating that a rock tried to eat him.

 

“That went better than I expected,” Haymitch muttered when Katniss fled the dining car in a scowling panic, leaving behind a half-finished stack of pancakes. Effie huffed and turned to Peeta, her purple lips pursing as she sighed, “Well, you’ll have to remember for the both of you then. Just, if nothing else - use plenty of lubricant, and go _slow_.”

 

Peeta choked on his coffee. “I don’t think we’re ready for that yet.” 

 

Effie gave him a look that managed to at once convey surprising sympathy and a profound lack of normal human compassion. “I can only imagine what it’s like, as sixteen year-old boys.”

 

It was mostly like night terrors about being back in the arena, actually, or day terrors wondering if - how - Snow would punish him and Katniss and their families, or the sick, miserable knot of resentment and shame that had been growing ever since Katniss very reasonably explained, it’s not you, it’s the institutionalized culture of hedonism and brutal oppression that requires me to pretend to be in love with you so we and our loved ones don’t get tortured. Peeta chose to focus on the banal trauma of hearing Effie’s accent sound out the phrase “anal fissure”.

 

“I just really cherish Katniss, and I don’t want to cheapen what we have by making him feel like I’m pressuring him to make it physical,” Peeta said.

 

Effie instantly shifted from disapproval to cooing. Haymitch stuffed a roll into his mouth, but his shoulders were shaking. 

 

“And that’s _wonderful,_ ” Effie gushed, starry-eyed. “You’ve both been through so much, and I know there are…expectations for you both, but I still think you should be in love with the first person you have sex with.”

 

Haymitch made a strangled, hysterical sound into his cloth napkin. 

 

“I love Katniss,” Peeta agreed. Partly for the hidden microphones, but mostly because if there were a lot of worst parts about being in the Hunger Games, then this was the best: finally getting to say it, as often and as sincerely possible. After all, eleven years is a long time to be in love.

**Author's Note:**

> me: shows up 2 years late to fandom with Starbucks.


End file.
